I feel empty still. I had such a great weekend with the boys and Lisa, Belb and Nate that now it all just feels like a dream. I am struggling to come to terms with my emotions about Buddha and I feel like he is just breezing through this with not a care in the world. I hate that I like him so much. It makes me feel really vulnerable. A heavy heart is the result of not much smart. I tend to ignore him more and more so that my feelings, hopefully, will subside.
I missed the plane yesterday. The very plane that was going to whisk me away to the dry dust bowl I call work. I slept in and whilst I appreciate the extra 2 days off, I was looking forward to escaping the situation I've got myself into here.
Katherine is upset because her grandfather wants to buy her a caravan park in western NSW. I think it is a great idea but she is unsure of his motives. I think she also wants to be closer to the ocean. I think she should just be grateful to him for the leg up. Graham is home as well which is always good. They went for the ultrasound yesterday and have a photo of bub. Very small (12 weeks) and the very wise lisa was correct. No determining the sex until at least 16wks, but as if she would have been heard had she of spoken.
Missing home. Jessica and Dylan are going with dad to talk with the owners of the Australian Hotel in Herberton. They are talking about buying it. I think it would be great. I've already told her I want a job. At least it's about 10degree cooler over there. Don't hate me Darwin- I do love you, but you test my will to stay every year around this time. The horrendous build-up. x
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